It's all wrong

It was all wrong. How can it all be wrong.
We got the final results of our babys autopsy results.
No cystic hygroma, no Turner Syndrom or Down Syndrome. And NOT a Girl. He was a BOY.

A healthy boy.

How could they not look at the hospital. Why were they okay just letting us think he was a girl?

He had a hypercoiled, elongated cord with 2 strictures. One close to the placenta, one where it attached to him.


We have pictures of him wrapped in pink. We have the pink blanket and hat he was pictured in as keepsakes. We named him wrong. I've been grieving a daughter that never was. I never even considered he could be a boy. I even wondered if it would hurt as much if it had been a boy. I got my answer to that one, it does.



It was so important to me to give our baby a name. Now, 6 wks later, after I gave him the girls name we picked out, I don't feel the need to give him the boys name. Why is that? I may in time.

I was looking at infant loss jewelry. I wanted to get a pendant in our babys memory. I'm glad I haven't gotten it yet, it would have the wrong name on it.

As many friends have said, I know in my heart I grieved my baby. He's not upset or think I love him any less because I grieved him as a girl instead of the boy he was.